First off…my husband can be such a terd. He’s amazing, and I do love him with everything in me. However, he can be a butt when he’s grumpy or not feeling well. He doesn’t know how to “meh” and not accidentally take it out on me. With the emotional roller coaster I’ve been dealing with lately – I’m not quite in the mood to smooth his unnecessarily ruffled feathers. This too shall pass…well – it better.
This past week I’ve been struggling with closure. I thought I had it – but it seems that isn’t the case. The situation with both Glen (and John for that matter) still bother me. Every once in a while, I will think about the things I have lost – how Rishelle is about to be 15 and Alise is about to be 13, and I’m not in their lives. I haven’t been in so many years, you would think I could move past it.
The emotions haven’t surfaced in quite a while, but when Nicole called me to tell me how she had her breakthrough – it all came back. I couldn’t figure out why Nicole has been haunted so much by everything that happened. She told me it still bothers her every day. Maybe it’s because I have a much wider scope of dealing with Glen than she did. I’m not trying to minimize what happened to her by any means – it’s just tough for me to get my head around.
Anyway – still trying to sort through that. This is one of those “God will turn your misery into ministry” kind of things I think.
Speaking of – I’m super excited. We are finally getting a car! Mine is on the brink of imploding, and I’m sure I’ve polluted most of the interstate I commute to and from work on. Spattered it with the oil my car has rejected and puked all over the road. My Grandpa (my knight in shining armor!) bought a car and are allowing Bear and I to make payments on our budget back to him. He pretty much told us, if it were not for Emma (His Great Granddaughter) we would be walking =D So yay!
I think we are going to try to get our selves to Missouri next weekend to snag it. We will have to see if we can swing it. Going to have to beg my boss for another day off.
Sad News:
Yoda – the world’s ugliest dog died last week in her sleep. Poor ugly little thing.
Heartbreaking News:
9 year old Chinese girl gives birth to a baby boy. I’m utterly terrified at this. Being the victim of sexual abuse two times over as a kid, this just absolutely rocks me. Scares me to death to think about what my 6 month old will be faced with in her impeding years. My mother drove herself batty attempting to protect my sister and I from harm like this – and wasn’t successful. I was 13 when the first set of incidents happened, and 15 when the second set (that lasted 7 years) happened.
Today Emma turned 6 months, and the world is such a scary place. Freaks me out.
Ah. My Boss. Mr. Douche-Baggery.
How is it possible – that a slightly handsome, seemingly fun guy could be a complete narcissistic moron.
I love and get along with all the people I work with – even my boss. But the longer I spend around him, the bigger I fear my eyes will be stuck in the back of my head from the constant rolling. If you ask an open-ended question from him, prepare to be imprisoned in your chair, envisioning scratching your eyeballs with forks. It’s ridonkulous.
Every day that passes, is a reminder that I need to get the crap outta dodge. Been with the company for 4 years, but the commute + gas + Sir Douche’alot = 9 to 5 fail.
What do I do when my husband feels like the whole world is against him?
Psychotic Ex seems to rear her head at the worst times. Things were pretty smooth – he misses his kids of course, but he has been coping. It seems like she will go weeks without saying a word and refuses to let him speak to his kids. Then bam, she will say and do anything and everything in her power to hurt him. Usually by using his kids as a weapon.
She’s a poor excuse for a Mother and she really causes me to lose my temper. I really have to zone in on Christ’s love to not fly off the handle and rip her apart.
If I sat here and listed all of her antics, it could take all night.
But the biggest thing is my heart hurts for Bear. His children were ripped from him and she hurts him anyway she can with them.
I keep trying to encourage him, keep him positive. But I can only imagine how he feels completely hopeless sometimes.
I just need to keep praying that he seeks his hope in God.
Exactly one of the reasons why I don’t co-sleep. I move around too much and can barely sleep as it is. This made me giggle so hard though.
Just spent the whole evening piled in front of the TV catching up on some “Army Wives”, thank God for Netflix. I’m on Season 3, with two more glorious seasons to go before I catch up to the current episodes.
On a nerdy point, I’m kind of getting bored with Star Wars the Old Republic. I think I’m just kind of tired of gaming as a whole for now. Received a Beta Invite for a game that shall remain un-named, may take a look into that.
Today was a great day, a couple of hiccups – but generally good.
I sit here, mourning the fact that my work week is about to start, but I shalt not dwell on that.
For the first time, Emma managed to make it through a whole service at church in the Nursery. The previous 2 times were a bust – so the fact she made it completely through is fantastic. This is the first time I have been able to sit through a service since she was born. Granted – I was insanely distracted. Both Bear and I got up to check on her – and were gently (or maybe not…) told that they would page us if there was an issue. Throughout the service I kept looking at the pager to make sure the light was on. Shook it a few times, inspected that there were no loose wires and such. After the service, I was literally the first of 50 people in line to get their kids. Nursery workers (amazing women by the way) looked like they could have rolled their eyes at the lightning speed I exhibited – with my child claim ticket gripped in my flailing arm. Apparently Emma wailed for the first 20 minutes, and then the genius nursery worker realized she liked the sound of running water (Thank God we don’t live in a drought State). So when I picked her up – my angel had puffy eyes, but was asleep.
We celebrated this milestone with a little retail therapy – went to the Carter’s outlet where I was able to snag her Easter Outfit. My baby has better style than I do.
It hit me on the way home, just how serious I am about getting a new job. I’m guessing the fact that my minor oil leak sprung into a oil waterfall today – leaving a pollution trail everywhere we drove. Don’t even want to think about the fact it seems my car is taking it’s last motor breaths. Anyway, I put my heart into everything I do in my job, I’m always flexible and very rarely call in. I’m the dream employee – never had any issues with my management. Then they dangle this promotion in front of me, and yank it away. Granted, I know God has his hand in that – I don’t think I could fully focus on school to do what I’m truly called to do if I had that position. But it jolted me to think – I’ve been giving everything to this company and am absolutely hurting everything in my personal life to do so. 10 additional hours away from my family – on top of the 40 I’m paid to give. 500 miles a week to my job.
I’m not going to quit unless I get something else lined up – but it’s definitely time. I’m done. Ready to find where God has me going next.
The Girl
Nearly 30 - Texan in Alabama - Working New Mama - Wife
Insta-Shots
Tweetin'
- First Ears! http://t.co/lN0grW8A
- Gaining perspective and peace with my life. It's a great thing when you can feel yourself growing emotionally and spiritually.
- Waiting for your 6 month old to fall asleep is like watching a pot start to boil. Painfully long. #motherhood
